The left is desperate. Can you blame them?
President Biden went viral for all the wrong reasons this past weekend after toppling over on his bicycle in Rehoboth Beach, Del. It was equal parts sad and embarrassing.
But Biden is not the only crash making headlines. The Dow Jones fell by 38.29 points last week and experts seem certain that a recession is near.
On top of that concern, the president is still struggling with dismal approval ratings, crushing inflation and record-high gas prices across the country.
To add insult to bike injury, this week Mayra Flores, a Mexican-born Republican from the Rio Grande Valley, flipped a congressional seat in Texas’ 34th District.
It was the first time a Republican won that seat in over 150 years.
Needless to say, Democrats are getting panicky — and for good reason.
But you know what they say, necessity is the mother of invention. I’m sorry, necessity is the birthing person of invention. And if there is one thing the left needs right now, it is a win. So I am going to offer up some free advice for the other side of the aisle.
My first idea is called Operation Job Swap.
Last week, Twitter’s employees had a meeting with their new boss Elon Musk. It was less of a meeting and more of a meltdown.
The entire ordeal was a very traumatic experience for the social media platforms’ employees. After all, Elon Musk isn’t just a billionaire supervillain. He also recently voiced support for Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis and he believes in free speech. He is a triple threat to democracy.
During the meeting, the disgruntled employees started venting their frustrations about the Tesla CEO on the workplace messaging app Slack.
Based off the employees’ outrage, you would have thought that Musk was behaving like Jeffrey Toobin on this Zoom call.
But alas, he was just sharing some opinions that the delicate geniuses at Twitter disagreed with. The horror.
On the bright side, I have very good news for Twitter’s unhappy keyboard warriors: there are about to be a lot of job openings at the White House!
The Washington Times reported that a “spate of resignations by high-profile aids to President Biden has left the remaining White House staff frustrated as they toil with a crumbling domestic agenda, sky-high inflation, the war in Ukraine and dimming prospects for Democrats in the November elections.”
In other words, start updating your LinkedIn profiles Twitter employees. Be sure to include that you are proficient in Pravda, censoring and coding of course. Also mention Twitter’s in-kind contributions to Joe over the years (banning the NY Post being just one example). The least POTUS can do is offer you all a safe space at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.
Plus the White House’s new hires can help the vice president with her latest mission — Disinformation Team 2.0.
Speaking of Kamala Harris, I have some advice for the vice president as well: Start saying no to all of these initiative opportunities.
Joe’s second-in-command has had to wear many hats (border czar, voting rights leader, moon crater enthusiast, internet explorer) while her boss gets to learn to ride a bike in Delaware?
If I were Kamala, I’d say sorry Joe but my plate is full. You can head up your own task force while Pete Buttigieg and I work on our 2024 ticket.
If the left wants Kamala to be the next president (like Tucker Carlson, I fully endorse Harris as the 2024), she can’t keep getting saddled with all of the jobs that Joe doesn’t want to touch.
Finally, my last — but perhaps most important — piece of advice goes out to the White House cat.
Willow, listen carefully: If I were you, I’d watch out.
The Biden family has a habit of bringing in new pets when times are tough and putting the old ones out to pasture. If things keep going wrong for this administration, you could be getting the boot soon for a newer, cuter kitten. Sleep with one eye open and keep your head (and tail) on a swivel.